I know I am no longer a FULL-TIME missionary but I figured I am still a member missionary and I am learning new things everyday that I could still share with whoever wanted to listen. On the mission my letters home to my family became a journal entry for me. I didn't always have time to write what I learned and so I wrote it home. Now that I am home I have time to write but for some reason my love for pen and paper as not come back to me. I think it is because typing is so much easier. I have been home for 7 weeks and I can honestly say that I have missed writing my thoughts to the family and friends that care what is going on in my life. I decided I would share some of the things I have learned starting with the most recent.

Last week I substituted for my wards Gospel and Doctrine class. Can I just tell you how scared I was? Luckily I had a good knowledge about the subject because... well would anyone like to guess what it was on? If you said missionary work that is right! YOU WIN!!! It was probably the only reason I was called to teach but you know since we are studying the Doctrine and Covenants this year it was more the pioneer stories of the first missionaries. As I was studying and preparing for the lesson I realized how incredible the sacrifices were that our pioneers made to go out and teach the gospel. I mean we are talking Dad's leaving families to go off and share the gospel. We are talking recent converts being baptized and then leaving pretty quickly to go share. I was blessed to have had the opportunity to study for this lesson. As I studied and thought about the sacrifices that were being made I thought about how much missionary work is about sacrifice. It is funny because I maybe thought my mission as being a sacrifice at some point or another but after awhile I really loved what I was doing. Leaving my job, car, life at home to go serve the Lord to go be a part of a higher purpose became my life. I don't know if that makes sense but I loved what I did so much that it wasn't a sacrifice anymore. Does that make sense? Now that I had to come home- against my will I might add- I consider to be a sacrifice. I have to come back to the world to live a higher life and fulfill a higher purpose. Right? I mean if you asked missionaries to stay I am sure they would say yes. I know I would! There is a reason that missions last for a year and a half or two years it is because now that we have become.. .well one of the reasons I think anyway.... is because we have become true disciples of Christ and now we need to go out in the world and be the best missionaries we can be for our friends, family, neighbors, etc. I know there were several members back in the mission that I thought "when I get home I will be a member missionary like them". This is just all Amy theory here. I could be completely wrong but you know it was just something that I learned. 

If you are still interested in reading more about my post mission life I have one more thing to share.... So I came home and pretty much jumped right back into my old life.... big mistake. I honestly love the people that I knew before my mission but what I couldn't handle was being in the same big groups that didn't get me anywhere. No offense to the people because it was my own actions. I realized that I was acting how I did before my mission. AND I didn't go on a mission to be the same! So after three weeks of the same thing I finally bailed on my old life (not the friends). I just can't do it. Before I came home I said to myself "I just want to be completely involved in my life." I didn't want to worry like I had before about what might or might not come along. So I changed my ways. I will tell you it has been great. It was more for the dating life then anything else. I remember being so worried about it before my mission. Now... and this is weird because I am still trying to figure it out... but I have SO MUCH faith. I have no worries at all... that is not all aspects of it of course but the majority.... I am super excited to be at the job I have. I am learning things I didn't even know existed! I am super excited to be in school and I have some serious goals to get me there. I am in LOVE with what I am doing! My friend... okay that is an understatement but my dear dear dear friend said something to me the day that we went to catch up. She said that she learned that people may come and go.. speaking about dating again... and through it all she was okay but what she wasn't okay with was when her relationship with Heavenly Father became weak. She realized that as long as she has that on good terms all the relationships she comes and goes through in the end she will always be okay. I loved this thought. It is true. I can't tell you how many times I wanted it to work out with someone and didn't. Now I know that all I have to do is work on my relationship with my Father in Heaven and no matter what happens or doesn't I will be okay. Faith is a beautiful thing. I have more to learn I am sure but you know one day at a time.